


Almost Isn't Enough

by alilfallofrain



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3521807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilfallofrain/pseuds/alilfallofrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve, all alone in the future, misses his former life and loved ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Isn't Enough

Bucky was dead. Howard was dead. Peggy was…well, she wasn’t exactly Peggy anymore. There was no one left, he’d lost them. After everything, after crashing himself into a goddamn _ocean_ to protect them, to _save_ them. 

It wasn’t fair. Bucky was the better fighter, Peggy the better agent, Howard the better, well, Howard was better at just about everything else. But no, it was him, Steve Rogers, kid from Brooklyn, who survived.  It was as if the universe was playing a cruel joke on him.  _Here kid, get everything you ever wanted – be healthy! Fight the bullies! Find the girl of your dreams! Buuuuuut, youregoingtoloseeveryoneyouloveandbeallaloneoopsbye!_

He threw himself into working with Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. but that didn’t help. He was just reminded of what he didn’t have, day after day. Natasha was great, but she wasn’t Peggy. Not even close. There were no questions of loyalties or hidden agendas with Peggy. Nat, well, Nat was Nat. And the more she tried to find him a date the more Steve realized that Peggy was never coming back to him. Not _his_ Peggy. Not the girl in the compass. No, that Peggy was left back in World War II.

Slowly but surely he kind of stopped caring about everything. He fell into his routine – wake up, run, shower, breakfast, work, home, sleep, repeat – but it was as if his body was on autopilot. Nothing motivated him, nothing _inspired_ him, and his heart just wasn’t in it. He found himself jumping out of planes with no chute thinking, “hey, either I really am invincible or maybe I’m not and all this monotony will finally be over!”

The morning he met Sam was the first time in ages he’d really enjoyed himself. It was almost as if he had Bucky back. Almost. And Sam seemed to really _get_ him, which was new. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, even the ones who had served in war zones, never _really_ understood but Sam…Sam was different. And when they fought alongside one another it was _really_ like having Bucky back. Sam would have made one hell of a Howling Commando. It was almost nice, being back in this pattern.

He hated himself for thinking it. Hydra wanted him dead, people he _thought_ were his friends turned against him, everything was chaos. But it felt so familiar. For the first time since the Battle of New York Steve was really, truly where he belonged, where he was _made_ to be – fighting a war, commanding troops. Sam was almost Bucky. Natasha was almost Peggy. Hell, even Tony was almost Howard. He was as close to getting his life back as he could possibly be.

But everything broke in an instant, all the progress he’d made, the feeling of finally finding his place in this crazy 21st century, when he looked up and through the dust saw a face he knew as well as his own reflection. At first he thought it was a dream, a hallucination brought on by a concussion or the heat or, hell, _anything_ , but no. It was him.

“Bucky?”

Nothing. Not even a flicker of recognition in his eyes when Steve said his name.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

The words were like ice water. A smack in the face reminding Steve that everything about this new life was wrong, was upside down. He was a man out of time, the love of his life had grown old without him by her side, and now. Now his best friend was fighting for Hydra, trying to kill him. Peggy wasn’t Peggy, Bucky wasn’t Bucky, but Steve was still the same, still stuck in the ‘40s.

Natasha was _almost_ Peggy. Sam was _almost_ Bucky. Tony was _almost_ Howard. But suddenly “almost” wasn’t enough anymore. Steve would get Bucky back – the real Bucky – and if he died in the process then, well, so be it. Nothing else mattered now.


End file.
